CAR LIMERICKS
I buried my foot to the floor
my Mustang took off with a roar
the corner was tight
my speed out of sight
the funeral's tomorrow, at four!
I call my new Cadillac 'Trevor'
it's run by computer - so clever!
I really should thank
the First National Bank
I'll be paying those bastards for ever!
My car tells the world who I am
mag wheels and an overhead cam
with 4 doors plus hatch
there's only one catch
it's imported from North Vietnam!
My Model T's top of the fair
the best of the best and so rare!
it always gets towed
can't drive on the road
it might get a scratch - I don't dare!
The policeman walked up and said: "Howdy,
the neighbors are calling you rowdy"
I said: "Nope, not me,
it's my new car, you see:
a twin-cam V8 race-bred Audi!
My phone had a text from Suzette
she broke off with me with regret
she'd found someone new
with a Rolls Royce or two
and for weekends a shiny Corvette!
Deciding to enter a race
I found out my car had no pace
a stupid Volkswagen
was not meant for draggin'
oh boy - was there egg on my face!
I looked at a Ford Karmen Ghia
then checked out the cars from Korea
well built and quite nice
and a quarter the price
I ended up buying a Kia!
I picked up a girl in my truck
decided to try out my luck
I 'run out of gas'
but she said: "Alas -
I find your advances quite yuk!"
Ferraris are cool, so it's said
they're real hot and fast and they're red
don't think that I'm funny
but if I had money
I'd buy a Toyota instead!
My new car is jet black, all right
I drove to a tavern tonight
but where did I park?
Don't know in the dark -
so I'm sitting here waiting for light!
My new Lamborghini is cool
I cruise past the hairdressing school
the ladies all sigh
I give them the eye
then drive off - I love being cruel!
My Beemer turns heads, I'm the man!
A car for the fast autobahn
I speed in the rain
and frown with disdain
at the other cars made in Japan!
