CARTOON LIMERICKS
The Flintstones had sextuplets - true!
The names were so easy to do,
there was Rocky and Granite,
a daughter named Janet,
then Yabba, and Dabba, and Doo!
I heard Wiley Coyote cry:
"That stinking Road Runner can fly!
I'm sick of this chase,
I've ran my last race,
the next time he kills me - I die!"
That Speedy Gonzales can run,
he even beats lead from a gun,
as fast as a shot -
that bitumen's hot
in the blistering Mexican sun!
I know that it sounds rather funny
that a rabbit can make so much money,
with the help of some others
(like two Warner brothers)
and a name change to hmm... Bugs Bunny?
George Jetson's fat boss was so miffed
when poor George came in late for his shift,
"It's my birthday today
so I won't dock your pay
as long as you brought me a gift!"
In silence the audience sat,
on stage was a bag on a mat,
they heard a meow,
and then, with a bow
it turned into Felix the Cat!
A terrible tragedy struck,
some animal, running amok
on the studio lot
had been brutally shot,
but it turned out to be Daffy Duck!
Magolla Gorilla was free,
the jury said it couldn't be,
no fifteen foot ape
could possibly rape
a two feet six tall chimpanzee!
The show had one terrible flaw,
it was Western and cowboy and raw,
but the star was just great,
with his Mexican mate.
Haven't guessed it? It's Quickdraw McGraw!
My memory's not very steady,
I think that I've lost it already,
only one cartoon pair
lingers on way down there,
it's a cat and a dog: Ruff and Reddy!
My vision's not great, that is true,
I have to wear spectacles, too,
I teach at the school
and the kids are so cruel,
they're calling me Mr. Magoo!
Inspector Gadget laughed:
"It's sort of like witchcraft,
I use a hex
when having sex,
it's: Go Go Gadget Shaft!"
The tweety bird's aim was uncanny,
Sylvester was hit in the fanny,
he cried: "That's absurd,
you're naught but a bird,
are you getting lessons from Granny?"
Roger Ramjet cried: Head for the hills!
I've run out of those proton pills!
my drug dealer guy
has withheld supply -
I really should pay all my bills!"
I once had a cartoon show habit,
he carried a lance and would jab it,
my hero, you see
was there on TV,
each day I'd watch Crusader Rabbit!
Bugs Bunny yelled: "What have you done?
These cartoons are meant to be fun!"
But Elmer said: "you
in a nice rabbit stew
is the reason I fired my gun!"
When Peabody called him "My Boy"
poor Sherman felt just like a toy,
he'd often confessed
that he got depressed
now drugs have him jumping for joy!
Yosemite Sam was in tears,
he sobbed: "I' so sorry, my dears,
I've been bold - In your face -
Shot my guns everyplace -
I really should stop drinking beers!"
