CIRCUS LIMERICKS
When Boppo the clown did his thing
they called him the Juggling King
but one night he failed
was charged and then jailed
for dropping his balls in the ring!
Roberto threw knives with great skill
but one night his aim was so ill
he botched several throws
and killed two front rows
he’s now hiding out in Brazil!
The dog trainer’s poodles were tops
they danced with a series of hops
he developed an itch
and called one a bitch
the ringmaster called in the cops!
From up near the roof came a crack
the acrobat fell – broke his back
the ambulance came
said the rope was to blame
it’s supposed to be tightrope – not slack!
The clowns went on strike for more pay
the boss said: “You’ll get it one day”
so nothing was funny
he should have paid money
he’s now parking cars in L.A.
The lions went hungry today
their trainer was taken away
he’d fed the big cats
on stray dogs and rats
and was charged by the S.P.C.A!
The horses have feathers and bells
the trainer cracks whips and he yells
they’re great in the ring
but despite everything
quite frankly, I can’t stand the smells!
I went to the circus last week
but ran out of there with a shriek
I’m still in a daze
in the big mirror maze
I realized I was the freak!
The circus was terribly rude
the acrobats acted quite lewd
they dangled with ease
on the flying trapeze
and did all their tricks in the nude!
The circus chief acted so tough
gave orders and swore pretty rough
but nobody cared
his secret they shared
at night he did bestial stuff!
I pity poor Floppo the clown
they laugh at him all over town
he flipped and he flopped
his braces they popped
and his big floppy trousers fell down!
The flames from the big top flew high
and lit up the dark winter sky
at the matinee show
to the ringmaster’s woe
the fire-eater farted – oh my!
The band leader acted quite weird
he cried out: “It’s just as I feared
the love of my life
my own darling wife
has now grown a fifteen-inch beard!”
The elephant trainer was young
but apparently rather high-strung
when asked: “Do they smell?”
he replied “Bloody Hell”
and pelted the poor man with dung!
