FOOD LIMERICKS
I once bought a huge bag of rice
then thought that it tasted so nice
I bought thirty more
now my biggest chore
is setting the traps for the mice!
Most pizzas have cheese and I've found
that olives and chilies abound
the flavor just rocks
but what of the box?
Why square when the pizza is round?
I tasted Australian stew,
quite hearty and nutritious, too
then I was left cold
when somebody told
me the meat bits were all kangaroo!
I once took a cruise on a ship,
and tried this incredible dip,
ingredients: three
there was L, S and D
now THAT was a hell of a trip!
A restaurant opened last week,
the waiter was from Mozambique,
he served me a dish:
live African fish,
it leaped up and bit my right cheek!
The bride was so picky and petty
she moaned there was too much confetti
and then a huge fight
on the honeymoon night
she said he resembled spaghetti!
Hot dogs at the baseball is great,
it's what happens later I hate:
they use stomach pumps
to remove all the lumps
perhaps I should stop after eight?
I fell in love - for real
and cooked her up a meal,
she tasted - left
I was bereft
what's wrong with chocolate eel?
I wanted to cook Crepe Suzette
so googled it up on the net
a French recipe
was foreign to me
I haven't stopped throwing up yet!
A barbecue just down the street
served tofu and lettuce and beet,
and capsicum leaf
I asked: "Where's the beef?"
"We're vegan - we don't consume meat!"
My sausages really are long
the size of an elephant's dong
I make 'em that way
to hear my wife say:
"Your thinking is wicked and wrong!"
I cooked up some roadkill for tea
a possum and rabbit or three
despite all the grit
my dish was a hit
I now have a show on TV!
I made me a black and white pie
with licorice and crushed butterfly
some warm marzipan
all baked in a flan
a delicacy (if you're Thai).
