LORD OF THE RINGS LIMERICKS
When Bilbo gave Frodo the ring
he didn’t explain anything
but Gandalf knew best
they went on a quest
to see the Return of the King!
The tavern in Bree served them wine
the Hobbits thought that was divine
young Pippin and Merry
got tipsy on sherry
but Strider put them back in line!
The Elves rescued Frodo, hooray!
But then sent him into the fray
“Poor Middle Earth’s stuffed
and we’ve had enough
we’re all nicking off, anyway!”
When Gandalf fell down to the pit
the audience thought that was it
but he’ll be all right
and come back in white
the sequel is already writ!
The Hobbits were missing the Shire
and Gollum was raising Sam’s ire
but Frodo was boss
despite double-cross
they needed to find Mount Doom’s fire.
In Isengard Orcs forged their swords
to fight for their evil dark lords
all ugly as sin
but keen to begin
the killing of men in their hordes!
The riders of Rohan were hot
they found Orcs and murdered the lot
their King had gone mad
he was Faramir’s Dad
(quite frankly, he should have been shot!)
Our wizard and Saruman fought
but Gandalf got rather distraught
“I reckon he cheated
his spells are so heated
remember, I’m only self-taught!”
What Saruman did was illegal
but Gandalf flew off on an eagle
meanwhile, on the track
to Mordor and back
young Frodo got chummy with Smeagol!
When Sauron looked out through his eye
an eyeball appeared in the sky
one Orc said: “Oh dear,
he’s injured, I fear
I think he’s developed a sty!
Right into Helm’s deep Orcs did pour
ten thousand or possibly more
the Dwarf bravely fought
but had only one thought:
to beat Legolas with his score!
Legolas the brave handsome Elf
told Gimli to go stuff himself
the Dwarf, so it seems
was the man of his dreams
but had fallen in love with Gandalf!
In to the dark forest they went
two Hobbits with one same intent
to venture inside
and go for a ride
in the shoulders of Treebeard, the Ent!
Poor Eowyn cried, so forlorn
her heart stolen by Aragorn
but Arwen was first
the poor man was cursed
the Elf Princess gave him a horn!
