MARTIAL ARTS LIMERICKS
In China, I went to a shop
and spoke to the man there: Sing Hop
I said "Gimme food"
He replied "You are rude"
And he served me a karate chop!
A bully, a beast of a man,
beat me up lots, then I had a plan
to make some amend
I got help from my friend
Bruce Lee and my mate Jackie Chan!
The Samurai fascinate me
killing the Ninja with glee
when they get in a fix
well, one of their tricks
is to jump backwards up to a tree!
When drunk I become quite a smarty
a hero, the life of the party
there is always a pest
who thinks they know best
so I shut them up using karate.
I'm not very tough, got no power
I cry with the sting of the shower
now I'm not for skiting
whenever I'm fighting
my wife is a gun Tai Kwon Doer!
There by a river did linger
a small Buddhist Monk choir singer
a soprano came by
tried to sing really high
the Monk simply gave him the finger.
My family, boys and their wives
have embraced martial arts all their lives
they will bow to each other
before sister fights brother
and they cut up their food with star knives!
A Zen Buddhist uses his mind
to move things on earth, you will find
if you try to ambush him
you won't get to push him
You'll find that you're on your behind!
The karate school's quite all right, Jack
you hear all that timber go crack!
in Winter, no worries,
whenever snow flurries
for firewood they never lack!
I grabbed a Chinese by the hair
his small sister said "Don't you dare!"
the rest is quite gory
should you want the story
Emergency Ward - find me there!
I sat eating Chinese roast pork
and stood on his chair, like a stork
was some kung fuey guy
and I said with a sigh
"Why don't you sit down, ya big dork!"
I bowed, my opponent did too,
so low he could nibble his shoe
no waiting for me
and I kicked him with glee
oh please, ask yourself: wouldn't you?
