SCIENCE LIMERICKS
I once had a specimen stone
that I kept in a room by its own
I looked in to check
felt a pain in my neck
now I live my sad life all alone.
A scientist married a drummer
It was good till the middle of summer
She turned on the fans
His experiment plans
Blew away, oh my God...what a bummer!
In China they haven't learned yet
If they ever want to remove debt
The world must be shown
They can stand on their own
So why did they conquer Tibet?
A teacher was once heard to yell:
"Silence! You bastards from hell!"
A young punk up front
Remarked with a grunt:
"Sience, you git, has no 'L'"
My geology job hit the boil
Whilst prospecting for Texas oil
The brilliant gusher
Was a sewerage flusher
The landscape for miles I did spoil!
From Alaska to way past the Cape
Is a country of dubious shape
But South, North or here
They all love their beer
And some savour the fruit of the grape!
I went to a friend's place of mine,
Some water to smartly devine
My stick it did quiver
But my underground river
Tasted like rancid white wine!
I once gave a lady affection
By giving her my huge collection
Of dried butterflies
Bugs and moths from the skies
In return she gave me an infection!
I once knew a guy, Doctor Bill,
He died, but I won in his will
His formula queer
That will do away beer
You get drunk just by eating a pill!
The scientists met, and were crying
"This world is so terribly trying!
We invented a spore
That eliminates war,
But sadly, no nations are buying!"
The Incas had such awesome power
They came in a meteor shower
Their one giant bungle
Was to live in the jungle
Cos aliens, see, live on flour!
Digging for fossils, old Ned
A geologist, sadly is dead
His shovel hit bone
"You leave that alone"
Said a dinosaur, biting his head!
I once gave a girlfriend a lend
of my precious stone mixed pebble blend
of her, not a word
have I since even heard
diamonds ARE easily, girl's best friend!
