SPACE LIMERICKS
Through planets and space I did roam,
the asteroid belt I did comb,
a universe ranger
a celestial stranger
and never once did I phone home!
I met a young maiden from venus
who tried to "phone home" through my penis
she spoke in my groin
then inserted a coin!
Debacle? Man, you should have seen us!
A society chick, feeling sporty,
the fellow was way over forty,
after several bars
she was way over Mars
cos he gave her a huge astronauty!
Uranus and Pluto are far
I tried to drive there in my car
without any luck
doesn't gravity suck!
I never got up off the tar!
A Martian came down from the sky
with the glimmer of love in his eye
I went to the wedding
even though I was dreading
he married a coke machine - why?
A girl graduated from Vasser
so pretty the staff had to pass her
nobody had seen
she was bonking the dean
who procured her a plum job at NASA!
A spacecraft once crashed in a gully
my dad's reputation did sully
all evidence stuffed
and his story rebuffed
by those two wankers Mulder and Scully!
Seventy Vulcans in saucers
flew down onto several race courses
after winning a race
disappeared without trace
the stewards had called the armed forces!
A small greenish fellow from Clapham
told stories, and no-one could cap 'em
"Bollocks" they'd say
but his gun had a ray
and he'd aim at the knockers - and zap 'em!
"Tours of the Sun" sounded neat
but they hadn't gave thought to the heat
as the space ship got closer
a Washington grocer
just melted - they made a retreat!
Orion (if that's how it's spelt)
in the sauna was starting to melt
she felt she would vomit,
so swallowed a comet
and tightened her asteroid belt!
With women I do some great tricks
with the help of my seventeen dicks
if you ask me "how come?"
I will show you my bum
branded "made on the planet Chalwyx"
A Venusan was smoking some grass
some punk rockers gave him some sass
I know it's absurd
but he gave them the bird
then disappeared up his own ass!
A monster began a weird pattern
ate planets and started to fatten
tried Jupiter first
and luckily, burst
before he ate Neptune and Saturn!
