TRANSPORT LIMERICKS
I think that I must be insane
I've just fallen out of a plane
from way up in the sky
and I know I shall die
the next trip, I'm taking the train!
A man with insurance to gain
took his wife (quite exceedingly plain)
on a trip o'er the chasm
where she felt quite a spasm
as he threw her fat bulk from the train!
A pilot who worked for Air Lingis
played a game using all of his fingers
*Adults Only* I stress
coz it was a hostess
and the shame of his sacking still lingers.
The night was all moonlit and starry
I cruised the road in my ferrari
an Indian dude
gave the finger, how rude...
so I laughed at his ugly wife's sari!
Rolls Royces are lovely, I say
I got a new one yesterday
my lover's so rich
(tho he calls me his bitch)
I'm ever so glad that I'm gay!
I once knew a driving instructor
his pupil, a sweet train conductor
she made a mistake
as she stood on the brake
as a penalty, gaily, he made her try again...
I picked up this cabin crew chick
things got quite hot really quick
I patted her bum
mile-high club, here I come...
but instead I was very airsick!
At a bar this guy got pretty rowdy
and started to hassle a Saudi
I raced in, discreet,
threw the guy in the street
and the Arab bloke gave me an audi!
Volkswagens really are neat
you see lots of them on the street
but I really believe
if you want to conceive
other cars have a better back seat!
A young punk in a plane had no fear
coz his brain was all fuzzied by beer
the pilot did frown
"Bloody wheels won't go down"
so the punk was used for landing gear!
I stood on the windy train station
looking around in frustration
no loo could I see
this a problem for me
with the opposite of constipation!
Seven miles high in a plane,
the passengers thought they felt rain
it was only my Dad
who was really, quite mad
thought he was a fountain again!
The king of the rally boys, me
I have lots of trophies, come see
that brunette, that blonde,
(of them all I am fond)
I pick them up so easily!
A blacksmith who worked at his forge
was in a train, crossing a gorge
a gay man did pass
let his hand brush his ass
and was tossed in the canyon, by George!
A hooker cruised by in a ford
I thought to myself "I am bored"
so I got her to stop
and she showed me her shop
a hand job all I could afford!
I went out, intending to score
I was young, and I had something more
it was big, it was white
could drive women all night
yep, a nice new hardtop 4X4!
An air hostess took me to bed
"wait a sec, baby," she said
"In the case of bad sex it's
emergency exits
they’re here, but I plead, watch your head!"
I knew that my boss was a heel
when I captured a really big deal
a new car...surprise!
I stood rubbing my eyes
he'd bought me a goggomobile!
