MORE WEDDING LIMERICKS
The preacher had turned rather red,
the bride and the groom were in bed!
Their honeymoon night
had started, all right -
as soon as the vows had been said!
The vicar said: "Do you take Carol -
to honor and treasure her, Darryl?"
A gruff, angry voice
yelled: "He has no choice -
as long as I point this gun barrel!"
Photographers called out: "Say Cheese!"
and buzzed round the couple like bees,
the groom disappeared
and they thought it was weird
he was under her dress - on his knees!
The bride threw her floral bouquet
but somehow it went the wrong way
it fell in the lap
of a very nice chap
who received three proposals that day!
"The preacher gets drunk at the wedding!"
or so said the newspaper heading
the Bishop was shocked
the Priest was de-frocked
and now sells vibratory bedding!
Confetti rained down on the docks
the rowing team toasted their Cox
his bride was so young
that she poked out her tongue
that's when they began to throw rocks!
The wedding was going as planned
and then things got way out of hand
the bride's former guy
pulled a gun and let fly
it turned into Custer's Last Stand!
The presents were not worth that much,
merely toasters and tea towels and such,
but the bride thought them fine,
and she made a huge sign:
"All these presents are mine - so don't touch!"
This wedding was different, for sure
the bride was in white, and looked pure,
but her husband-to-be
worked in compost sales, see
so the guests all threw lumps of manure!
The speeches were bawdy and rude
the bridesmaids were hot - like the food
the MC no fool
his number one rule:
To be there you had to be nude!
